Oh, my Morgan Boy. My first born… he came out ready to sassy-walk and throw glitter all over this world. I can’t believe he’s going to be ten in just about a week. It’s nuts.
As soon as I told Morgan that I was starting this blog, his first words were, “Do I get a post?” Of course, Morgan. You get a post. After all, it’s all because of you that we are where we’re at today. So with that said, I have full permission to post about him. I always just like to make that disclaimer when I put anything up about other people.
Morgan. Wow. Where do I start. When we chose his name, I was nervous because it’s so gender neutral. I worried he’d go his entire life saying, “Morgan. Male” at that point, I had no idea we’d have a gender fluid child who was happy with any and all pronouns and was PROUD of his name because, as he says, “I can use it as a boy AND as a girl! On my boy days AND my girl days!” High five, us!
Sarah and I decided we were ready for kids about ten months after we got married in 2005. One night when we had just started trying, after my normal prayers, I added on a statement something along the lines of, “God, we really want children. If you have someone up there who needs an extra special family, we’re the ones. We’ll take the kid.” and *bam* we were pregnant and *bam* we had Morgan. Special indeed.
I don’t remember exactly what tipped me off when he was two, but around that time, I remember looking at Sarah and saying… “We’re going to have our hands full with this one. He craps rainbows” I’m pretty sure those were my words. There were just mannerisms there- and I know you aren’t supposed to go off that, but… he was two… and a flamboyant two. At that point, Sarah scoffed and told me I was crazy. Turns out- she was having her own internal battle at the time and admits that she saw it too, but was dealing with her own “issues” . It was then, that we decided to take gender out. By that, I mean, there were no “boy toys” and “girl toys”. What Morgan wanted, Morgan could get. When we walked the toy aisles at the stores, we took him down the “pink” aisles too. This continued as we raised him, and soon his brother. We’ll get to that later.
Surprisingly, despite his “what’s up with this one” status that he put off for me, Morgan had ZERO personality. He was the sweetest, but when it came to personality, I remember being really worried that maybe he’d be this boring kid that wouldn’t have any friends. He was always the absolute sweetheart that he is now, kind, generous, caring, loving, all that, but he had no “spark”. Nothing made him really stand out in the crowd… until BAM. Second grade or so. Holy crap. I don’t know if he was saving it up or what the heck happened, but the Morgan we know and love today, came to be.
From the time they were old enough to ask questions about people, and get curious of others when we were out in public, or watching TV, we always made sure to broadcast and explain different types of families. As it was appropriate, when talking to the boys, we never ever said, “when you have a girlfriend” or “when you have a wife”, we ALWAYS said, “when you have a wife or husband” or “when you have a girlfriend or boyfriend” it was just what we always did. It took a conscious effort to do, but it paid off. It paid off huge. The boys say it themselves now. I think that’s why the change from “mom and dad” to “mom and eema” was so easy and seemingly effortless for them. It’s just part of what we’ve always done and said.
My Morgan. My tiny best friend. I know you’re not supposed to be friends with your kids, but Morgan makes it really hard not to be. He’s my Morgan Boy. My Little Buddy, my BBFF (baby best friend forever) and he knows how to switch between friend and child. We both do. It works for us. When Morgan really got comfortable in his own skin, his two year old flamboyancy took to a whole new level. That kid can sassy-walk the hell out of just about anyone else. His current dream is to be a make up artist and work for Disney.
Something that has ALWAYS stuck with me and I think will ALWAYS stick with me, is the amount of people that used to tell me that I was “creating” Morgan. He was the way he was “because of us”. Um… no. We saw a need and filled it. We saw a kid that loved princesses as much as Star Wars and worked with and let it be. Fostered it, maybe. “Created it”, absolutely not. Morgan is Morgan. No one can make Morgan be anyone he doesn’t want to be. As he’s gotten more comfortable with himself, he goes out in his butterfly hair clips on days he feels more like a girl, he’ll have me do his hair, he’ll wear his Elsa t-shirts proudly. Morgan doesn’t give a crap. I wish I could be more like him.
Quickly, out house motto of “you be you” was born. Morgan was the cause of the motto. Sure Morgan gets looks when we’re out in public, but most of the time, they’re followed by a positive comment about our parenting. Morgan sashays his way down any hallway or aisle, throwing a snap in the air at the end (and sometimes a smack on his own bottom… I have NO idea where he picked that one up- LOL!) but he’s comfortable in his own skin. He’s surrounded by amazing friends that have his back.
He loves colorguard (one of three boys on his team of K-8 kids), musical theater, make up, Star Wars, Minecraft, Elsa from Frozen, Pentatonix (specifially Scott and Mitch), Roblox and Legos.
Morgan is a proud member of the LGBT community. Does he knows exactly what that means? Yes. He absolutely does. That’s another one that gets me from people who don’t know us. “does he even know what he’s standing for and what he’s wearing?” You better damn believe he does. He can tell you the entire acronym and what it means. He can define each of the letters in the acronym, as well as tell you all about the significance of the rainbow. He, himself, has identified. He says he’s not quite sure “how” yet, but he calls them “his people”. I’ve never seen anyone more comfortable at a Pride event than my child. He loves them. He’s at home. He’s among “his people”. OUR people. Morgan knows exactly what he’s doing. He knows exactly what it means to have Pride and be part of the LGBT+ community. He asks questions, we answer. We’ve worked hard to raise our kids in a home where they will never need to “come out” they can just bring home their significant other for dinner one day, no questions asked. I think honestly, I’d be a little disappointed if either of them ever felt the need to “come out” other than just saying “so there’s this boy” or “there’s this girl” or just “normal” tweeny/teen conversations.
It used to scare the crap out of me as a parent when he would choose to go to school as a giant walking rainbow- the socks, the shirt, the wristbands and bracelents, the hat… I felt like he was a target, or if he chooses to go to school dressed “girly”. But, let me tell you. He loves it. On those days I email his teachers, who have always been absolutely amazing, and the principal, who also is absolutely amazing, and they keep an extra watch on my special kid. Morgan comes home all smiles and always proud to be who he is. Why I can’t I be like that?
Morgan has been lucky to grow up in a very supportive community. Our school district is no stranger to hiring LGBT people, there are families like ours, other kids, you name it. We’re lucky. Morgan can feel safe being himself at school and out in the community. One of my proudest parent moments was the day after the election this last year, Morgan woke up and decided that he wanted to have a “rainbow day” as he calls them. He had no idea the outcome of the election at that point. He dressed himself head to toe in his rainbow attire and Have a Gay Day on Facebook got hold of his picture, running a post of him. It garnered over 10k likes and about 600 comments all absolutely positive. It was easily, the best day of his life so far (soon to be trumped by his birthday present, but I can’t talk about that one yet 🙂 ) .
Morgan has won multiple school and district awards and honors. He’s a Junior Club Leader for his school’s Kids Club. He helps run the K-3 program as the only 4th/5th grader that gets that honor. He’s kind, sweet, a great friend, passionate, a hard worker, a great actor, amazing older brother, and an overall amazing person. This year as an upcoming 5th grader, he was granted “ambassador” status, being given a Kindergarten class that he gets to mentor and look after for the year. It’s the culmination of his elementary years… what’s he’s wanted since he’s been in Kindergarten himself. He can’t wait to get his own “duty vest”. Ha! But most importantly, I’ve had so many adults tell me, “Man, you’ve raised a kid I’d want to be friends with if he were older.” or “If he were older, we’d be BEST friends”. He’s that kind of kid. He’s just an awesome human. I don’t know how he came from us. Ha.
I don’t think it’s possible for me to be any more proud of him that I am. Seriously. I know there will be more Morgan posts in the future. <3
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